


Alone

by iCeleste



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Drinking, Drunkenness, F/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1608500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iCeleste/pseuds/iCeleste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caitlin, a junior in college, is on study abroad in London when she meets someone unexpected on the streets at night. </p>
<p>Mentions of panic attacks, and alcohol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

“I’m all alone.”

 

That’s all I’m thinking as I walk down the dark, foggy street. I shouldn’t be out here; I know- it’s an unfamiliar city, it’s past 2 AM, and I’m more than a little tipsy. But what can I say? It’s London, and I’m studying abroad, I had to take advantage of the lower drinking age. But I never thought my friends would leave me alone here. I guess they were too drunk to notice I was still socializing- which was good for me at the time, since I’m normally too shy to talk to people, but being drunk just makes me a Chatty Kathy, I suppose.

 

But now I’m stuck out here, and...great. It’s starting to rain. _Of-fucking-course_ , I think to myself. I can feel a panic attack coming on. I’m so lost, and I have no idea what types of people walk around here at night. I’m starting to get short of breath as I search for any street signs or familiar shops. But right now, all I see is this tall man in a hat and trench coat walking towards me, and if that isn’t sketchy, I don’t know what is. I can’t even see his face. But I don’t see anyone else, and I need to get back to my flat. So sketchy guy it is.

I ignore the growing numbness in my hands that always marks the start of a panic attack and say, somewhat slurred, “Excuse me, sir?”  

He doesn’t appear to hear me, and walks right on by, muttering something under his breath. Something about we few, and bands of brothers... I try to get his attention again, though he is halfway down the block already.

“Sir! Please, I need your help.” 

He spins around; dark shadows are cast across his face but his presence doesn’t feel threatening. As he walks toward me, and his face comes into view, my eyes widen and my heart picks up speed. It couldn’t be, not in this place, at this hour...

“Hello miss, I’m so sorry I didn’t see you before! Are you all right? Are you lost?”

 

_Yeah, at a loss for words..._ I think to myself as I stare up at none other than Tom Hiddleston. I had always hoped I’d meet him in London while I was here, but not like this, not with me drunk and lost and having a panic attack...

“Yeah, um...I was just at a bar- er, pub- with some friends, but they left before me and I’m here on study abroad and I’m just very very lost...and slightly a bit more than drunk...”

He smiles at me kindly. “I can help you, of course. Let’s call a cabbie, shall we?”

He takes out his phone, and begins to dial.

“Yes, hi! I’d like a cab for pickup at...” He looks around- “50 Frith Street, please?... Thanks so much!”

He shuts the phone and looks back at me with concern in his eyes. “Are you all right now? Do you need me to stay with you until the cab comes?”

 

I’ve been trying to breathe, but this is all just too much. The drinks are making my head fuzzy, and Tom Hiddleston being in front of me doesn’t help much either. I can feel myself slipping into a bad panic attack. I just hope I don’t pass out like I used to...

 

 

My back hits a cold, wet brick wall, and I’m jolted back to reality. ‘Fuck,’ I think.

Tom is bending down in front of me, trying to support me as I slide down the wall. 

“Are you ok? What’s going on?” he questions frantically. 

I manage to heave myself upright, pushing against the wall and letting Tom lift me. 

“I am _so_ sorry,” I stammer. “I just get these...really bad panic attacks sometimes. I haven’t fainted for a while though. I am SO sorry you had to deal with that from some random stranger.”

“No trouble at all, love- oh gosh, I’m terribly rude! I haven’t even gotten your name yet!”

I chuckle a little- he looks genuinely upset with himself. 

“It’s Caitlin...Nice to meet you, Tom!” I beam, still trying to recover internally both from the attack and being with this freaking amazing man.

“Nice to me- now wait, I haven’t told you my name yet! Ehehehe- I take it you’re a fan, yes?” 

I blush and smile- there’s that laugh of his that I’ve heard a thousand times online- never thought I’d hear it in real life.

“Ah, yeah...oops! I am, yes, but I hope that doesn’t put you off from hanging around til the cab gets here or anything...”

“Oh no, of course not. That wouldn’t make a difference to me at all, love.” 

_Fuck why did he have to say that, am I gonna be able to think at all now?_

He continues, “Now, how about we find a bench where you can sit and recover from everything?” I nod, and he puts a gentle hand on the small of my back and leads me to a bench under a streetlamp.

“So uh...sorry again for that, back there. I haven’t had that bad of a panic attack in a while. They used to be even worse though...the first time I ever got one I was on a date the summer before senior year of high school, and we were hanging out in the woods, but I guess I was just so nervous. And it didn’t help that I was a bit ‘under the influence...’” He looks surprised here, and sits back a bit to listen more intently. Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t tell him it wasn’t alcohol.

“...but long story short I blacked out and was unable to move for about an hour. Couldn’t feel my body, didn’t know where I was or what was going on, and thought I was going to die...” I chuckle to myself. “I even told the guy I loved him because I thought it would be my last chance to say it. But hell, that’s panic disorder for you.”

I stop talking and look to my right, at Tom. Crap, I had almost forgotten who I was talking to.

“Sorry for talking so much, I just get nervous around...well, people who I’ve looked up to for a long time. Also, y’know, a bit drunk here.”

He shakes his head and says softly, with a smile, “I understand. But God, that sounds like hell. I’ve never had one of those, but I’m so sorry you have to go through that. And I’m sorry you had to endure tonight, as well...how do you feel currently, darling?” 

“Currently, I feel slightly cold, very drunk, and _very_ nervous that you are...here,” I say unabashedly. 

“Well...” He sighs, “I don’t normally do this, but I don’t want to leave you alone after the cab comes. It would make me feel a lot better about your health and safety if you stayed at my flat tonight.”

My heart is racing. Was he seriously asking me to stay at his _house_ for the night? 

I can’t do more than sit here, blushing. He looks at me expectantly- I nod and give a small smile, and he lets out his breath.

“That’s good. You just seem very-”

“Lost?” I interject.

“Alone,” he says softly. 

Just then, the cab pulls up, and we climb in the back seat. He gives the cabbie an address, and just like that I’m on the way to Tom Hiddleston’s house. I should be more nervous than I am, but I’m just so tired- the alcohol is weighing on my eyelids, and my head begins to nod left onto the window. I let my head rest on the glass, and allow sleep to creep its way into me...

 

What feels like seconds later, I awake to a gentle hand on my shoulder. “We’re here, love,” Tom says softly. I nod and climb out of the car, trying to will the sleep and drunkenness out of my head long enough to walk up to his flat with him. As the cab pulls away,Tom walks to my side and leads me to the building, with a hand on the small of my back. “This way,” he says with a side glance to me and a smile. I gaze sleepily up at him and smile back, then allow him to lead me into his building. Only until the doors of the elevator close do I snap into clarity, because at that moment I again realize I’m going to his freaking _house._ “Could this night get any more bizarre?” I think.

 

Apparently yes, because the doors open with a ding, and he again puts his hand on my back and leads me through the doors, into the foyer, where there’s a leather couch in front of a large T.V, a huge kitchen to my right, and two hallways behind the living room, and to the left of it.

“You’re sure you’re all right with me being here, Tom?” I ask. “You literally just met me, I’m just some fan that you bumped into who was freaking out, and-”

He cuts you off by putting a gentle hand on your arm and turning you toward him. “Hey, this was my idea, remember?” He says with a smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”  
I nod and reply, half-jokingly, “All right, but if at any point you want me gone, you can reserve the right to kick me out.”

He chuckles, “Ehehe, all right love. For now though, lets get you into some dry clothes and into bed.”

_Into clothes? But that means I have to be out of clothes, and then back into them. Oh god. In his house. Oh god_.

“There’s a guest bedroom around this way, you can get settled there...and I’ll be right back with some clothes.”

I follow the left hallway, and see a nice sized room next to a bathroom with a neatly made queen bed, a dresser, and a lamp. Exhausted, I kick off my shoes and sit on the bed with my back against the wall. I didn’t realize how tired I still was until I sat down...

 

“Caitlin?”

I jolt awake to Tom’s voice and a tentative hand on my shoulder. 

_Fuck, not again. Why did I have to be drunk and exhausted the first time I meet Tom Hiddleston?_

_“_ Agh, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I’m so tired...”

“It’s perfectly all right,” he says with a sweet smile, “I just thought you might still want to change, so you’re not cold over night.”

I smile at him and say, “Thanks so much, that would be great. Was I asleep for long?”

He shakes his head, “Probably just five minutes or so, I was looking for something you could wear...I couldn’t really find anything in your size, but I have one of my t-shirts and some sweatpants, if that’s all right.”

_Oh my god._

“That’s fine!” I say a little too eagerly, my voice probably raising four octave.

“Ehehe, great. Well I guess I’ll say goodnight now then, I hope you feel better in the morning.”

He gets up from the bed and closes the door behind him.

I can’t hold it in. I clutch his t-shirt and let out a small squeal. I quickly change into the clothes and climb in to bed, eagerly awaiting sleep so I could see what the next morning with Tom would bring.

 


End file.
